Kids Suffer Earthquake Stress Too!

Kids Suffer Earthquake Stress Too

Having grown up in Canada, a very large continent and landmass, earthquakes were something that happened in other parts of the world. Yet, I now find myself in the midst of aftershocks here in the lovely town of Blenheim in New Zealand.

My daughter is 8 years old and can be highly anxious in many situations. We have been pleasantly surprised at how well she has handled this most recent earthquake and the ensuing aftershocks. The reason I am writing this article is because, as I talked to other parents, their children were not so easily recovered by this event. They are feeling upset, nervous and anxious most of the time. Nervous anxious behaviour as a child can lead to future nervous anxious behaviour as an adult. Fears and phobias often begin in childhood and are escalated over the years coming into and through adulthood. In my clinic when I see an adult with a fear or phobia which is out of the ordinary, they can often link this behaviour back to a childhood trauma.

This is the reason why it is so important to help children to overcome the anxious feelings they have during times of trauma.

According to: https://childrensnational.org/~/media/cnhs-site/files/resources/ichoc/earthquake.ashx?la=en

If your child is a pre-schooler the stress of the quake may look like this (AGE 2-6):

• Uncontrollable crying
• Running aimlessly
• Excessive clinging and fear of being alone
• Regressive behaviour
• Sensitive to loud noises
• Confusion and irritability
• Eating problems
• New fears

For school age children (AGE 7-12):

• Nonspecific physical complaints (aches and pains)
• Appetite changes
• Sleep changes (trouble falling asleep, bad dreams)
• Sadness
• Withdrawal from peers
• Irritability
• Whining, clinging
• Aggression and questioning authority
• School avoidance, loss of interest and difficulty concentrating in school
• Regressive behaviour
• Rebellion at home or school
• New fears

And for teenages (AGE 13-18):

• Appetite changes
• Sleep changes (nightmares, trouble falling asleep)
• Sadness • Withdrawal and isolation
• Irritability and acting out
• Excessive fears and worry
• Agitation and apathy
• Risk-taking behaviours
• Poor concentration
• Disenchantment (what’s the point?)
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• New fears

If you are noticing any of these symptoms in your children it is time to help them move forward and away from the quakes.

So what can we do for our kids?

It is ever more important to create a feeling of safety for your child now. Your child looks to you to create a feeling of safety and security and how you behave and react will be key to their healing. Your ability to remain calm is imperative for your child. Share in simple terms how you are feeling and explain ways that you are trying to cope with what happened. Emphasise that you and other adults are doing everything possible to make sure that people are safe, secure and free from harm.

Be there for your children. Make some extra time just for talking. Let your children ask questions. Your child’s feelings, thoughts and reactions may be different from your own so be accepting of what they communicate with you.  Each child reacts to disasters according to his/her emotional and developmental stage. Your child will receive information not only from you, but also from peers and the media. Ask your child about what he or she knows. If your child chooses to do so, let him or her explain in his or her own words the earthquake and its effects. This will provide an opportunity to clear up any misinformation or misconceptions. You may need to provide explanation about what are aftershocks and that they will become fewer in number and less strong overtime.  Reduce exposure and focussing on the event as this may only heighten a child’s anxiety.  

You must always look after yourself first as well. At scopehypnosis.com you can download a free Relaxation MP3  which will help you to reduce the stress and tension caused by the quakes.

For kids: http://scopehypnosis.com/free-kids-quake-recovery-mp3/ and instructions are on the download page.

Be well everyone!

Lisa Wheeler

Clinical Hypnotherapist

You did a good job Mummy

It has been a while since I've written a post but as unethical as this topic might be I feel it's a worth a mention.

It all began about 4 years ago when my daughter had her first encounter with someone vomiting. It wasn't her but that didn't matter. The impact this made left her in fear of vomiting herself or of others vomiting. Lucky for her to the age of 8 1/2 she has only had 3 individual incidents of vomiting herself. Two are easily put down to eating foods that don't agree with her and the other from a sickness. Most of us hate to vomit but we know it helps our body to get rid of things that make us sick.

2 years ago a child threw-up during the cross-country race at school (I hated that race too as a kid) and this left my daughter in fear of sitting anywhere near that child in class for the rest of the year. Last year there was a spectacular incident during a very large multi-school choir festival where a boy in my daughter's class and on stage close by power spewed all over the people below him on the grandstand.  If it had been a part of a film it could not have been written any better.

Picture this- the final song is "Thank-you for the Music" by ABBA and in the last 2 minutes this spray comes forth evacuating a section of the grandstand, but yet the leader keeps the kids singing, louder and louder to compensate for the action going on down the end.  Honestly, it was like a movie scene, you just could not believe it was happening.

The result of this is this year my daughter is afraid to be in choir. Afraid, not of the practice, but of the show. One teacher told her "These things always happen at choir" which was not helpful in the least.

We had 6 weeks leading up to the show and the stress of the unknown on the night was really taking it's toll. There were tears and more tears and more tears.  But as she is currently practicing for a musical she needs the choir singing experience. My help was offered and refused more times than I'd like to count and finally I just decided to write a hypnotic script to play to her at night- after she had gone to sleep. And yes, without her agreement or knowledge.

From that day forward I didn't hear any stress about choir. No tears, no worry just an easy going approach to choir. The night before the big show I asked her how she was feeling. She said "Well, I think what happened last year is very unlikely to happen again". I agreed and told her how proud I was that she'd come to that conclusion herself. Yet inside I know that is one of the lines in the hypnosis track I wrote her and I am so excited.

She went to show. She had a great time! She even said to another girl that it was so much fun the other girl should have done it too.

I confessed a few days later to having used hypnosis on her while sleeping. I felt nervous about telling her but thought she should know.
Her response "You did a good job Mummy"!
And that's one for the memory books!

Who do you know with fears and phobias? Contact Lisa Wheeler at www.scopehypnosis.com